How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
