He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My liver is preforming stress tests.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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