Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My bed smells like the plague
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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