Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
They are going to name an STD after you.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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