he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
