Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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