At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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