One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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