A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I didn't shave. On purpose
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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