Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
