remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
