girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
