she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
