I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
