David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
