You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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