It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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