In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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