I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Did you pee in the oven last night??
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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