Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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