If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
