I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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