I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
