she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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