What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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