I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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