I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
