i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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