Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
