I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
