Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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