All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We left the knife in your bed.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
