Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
