Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
