Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
