in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Help. Why am I so naked?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
