Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I CAN MOONWALK!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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