elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
