hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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