Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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