Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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