One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
