New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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