My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
