The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
As shirtless as possible
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
