a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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