kristin has been a bad kristin
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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