I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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