i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
