"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
