btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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