Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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