Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dick very happy bro
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
