And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Randomize