Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
