i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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