I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
