You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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