How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
