I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize